Today is the big day - my big day. I turn 32 today at 9:58 AM Pacific Standard Time. For the past couple of weeks, I've had a really hard time getting excited about this day - but I feel the joy finally coming. Another year down - another year closer to being the person I want to be. And I know I've been in the weeds lately - the jungle really - but there is something better coming. There always is. Even when you have to shovel through shit to get to it (sorry Mom and Dad). And there's no guarantee that it'll get better today, tomorrow, or next month - but it will. I've decided that life is hard - but it's filled with pockets of happiness. I'm waiting for my next pocket - I need to actively seek it out really. I'm reading Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury and he has this quote - which seems to sum up the past few weeks for me.
"Life is short, misery sure, mortality certain."
Instead of leading me deeper into the darkness surrounding my life it gave me a little hope. It's all true of course - but there is also joy and happiness, which leads me to the next beautiful quote:
"Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."
I'm waiting to find that thing - something to live for. I know it will come. I want to start my 32nd year out believing in loving things and finding something to live for - whether it be writing, reading, crafting, hanging out with friends, helping others, whatever. I believe I can make this a great year. I must.
So I digress a little - but in a very good way I think. For Monday Madness this week - I chose Claudine Hellmuth's Studio Line. There are 15 paints in the line - each jar is approximately $5.50. From those 15 paints - it is possible to make 36 additional colors. Ranger Ink has a pdf showing which paints to mix and the possible colors - very cool stuff. Claudine also has video demonstrations on You Tube. These little videos make me covet the line intensely. I've only seen the paints at one store in my area - and the size was a little bit of a barrier initially - not to mention my fear of collaging at this time. But I can see myself shelling out the $82.50 plus tax in the future - just not the near future. :)
On the crafting front - I was able to finish a layout over the weekend. I actually felt good about getting my butt in the chair. I didn't have the drive to finish much more - but I can feel the creative juices beginning to flow through my veins again. It's a sign that life will get better - like the blossoming trees outside. Spring has sprung and my creative energy is following suit. It's a great thing. I'm going to spend this week making my list of 32 things to do while I am 32. I'm also attending CKC with a few pretty cool gals on Friday - can you say personal day? Man do I love the sound of that. I'm sure I'll have some pics of the outrageousness that is my spending at CKC - although I must be careful because I go to visit Monica next week. I fear saying this - but all in all I think this might be a pretty good week. I'll definitely keep you posted. Until then...Happy Crafting!