Art Girl Project: Lent 2014 - Progress Update

So I'm not going to lie - this process has not been easy at all.  After my last post, I almost gave up.  I thought to myself that it was okay to give up...I'm not up for this.  But then I remembered why I was doing this...and what Lent represents...and I decided to go for it.  These were just growing pains.  I decided to take baby steps and make sure I worked on one girl a day.  Sometimes that meant five minutes - other days it meant five hours.  I have to admit I've had my doubts over the last two weeks.  However, this girl is one of the reason's I've kept pushing...

I was really happy with this girl.  She looks a little different now due to paint dripping on the page from other projects - but I'm still totally happy with her.  I used the stamp set from Andrea Gomoll.  I can't say enough good things about her stamps and the beauty of NOT having to draw the details.  It makes life so much easier.

Next up...I tried my hand at drawing the details...

For this girlie, I was inspired by the wonderfully talented Kristin Van Valkenburgh.  She's a really talented artist and my attempt really pales in comparison.  I really love her blog and she shares her mixed media work on Pinterest.  The most important thing is using the inspiration and doing the best job you can.  This represents my best work in that particular moment and time.  I hope someday to get better.  I could go on and on about the problems.  The scale of her face is all wrong.  Her eyes are too far apart.  I really wish I would have done a two page spread.  Her chin and cheek bones are a minor disaster.  However, I love the colors.  I think I did pretty well on the lips and her hair isn't a total loss.

My next art girlie got a two page layout and was inspired by this painting by Paulette Insall.  There are a few photos to show you some of my process.  I made a few mistakes so this girl took me about a week.

If you look at the first picture - I wanted my girl to have a word.  I love the word soulful.  I thought it was perfect for her (at first) then I thought about changing it to soar and adding a bird; as you can see, none of that happened.  When I added the word on the bottom I went to work on another part of the project.  My arm ran through the black paint and I pretty much lost my mind.  I then went to my modeling paste and got to work.  I painted it all over her dress and then colored it with gelatos.  I am so satisfied with the result.  I would love to leave you with this - because I truly love this girl.  However, I thought I'd give you a quick glimpse of my new nemesis.

I have painted this piece of paper more times than I can count.  The sun started out as radiating circles with a melon background.  Then I tried my hand at a sunset (so not there yet) - and finally changed the circles into one smaller sun.  I wish I would have taken pictures.  I've just gessoed her face again and am waiting for it to dry.  Then I am turning the page and doing something new.  I need a break from this girl.  She's driving me nuts.  We are definitely on a break.

So there it is...two weeks of progress.  One somewhat happy "artsy" girl.  I'm not even close to ready to call myself artsy in any kind of real sense.  The important thing is I'm having fun and plugging away.  It's making me happy and that means so much.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday.  I will keep you updated on my progress.  Until then...

My Craft Desk (otherwise known as the dining room table)

I wanted to do a quick post to show what my crafty space looked like after my fiasco yesterday.  I'm considering calling it my triumphant fiasco - as in I conquered it.  I should totally play Conquest (one of the main USC songs) when trying new crafty techniques - it could totally change my frame of mind.  I digress.  So here's a quick picture...

Please note: there are some organization issues with the table.  The box on the upper left is filled with miscellaneous crap that needs to be organized, boxed, and put in the closet.  The big bottle of Sprite Zero belongs in the refrigerator and the mail and newspapers need to be recycled.  Oh, and the comb needs to put away - but everything else was part of the frenzy of crafting.  I would say 2/3 of the table.  I just wanted to share to give an idea of what this space looks like when I go into battle.  I hope it makes someone feel a little better.  Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday.  Next week, I will be sharing my favorite CHA finds (so far).  It'll be a week of product lusty goodness.  I'm so excited. Until then...

Foodie Fiction Love

Source Image

I prescribe to the 8-year old theory postulated by Ms. Alison Lee of Craftcast fame. I don't actually know if this theory is her brainchild or not - but it's excellent. My own interpretation of this theory is that if you want to connect with what you truly love - think back to when you were in second or third grade and you'll find some really great clues.  This idea has worked great for me when it comes to connecting with what I REALLY love.  When I look back on those times, I base my age on where my family lived. We hoped around our town a few times when I was in elementary school - so second and third grade are pretty clear.

Between first and second grade, I visited the classroom of my sister's godmother and found those old school SRA cards and was immediately sucked in. I wanted to read all of them. When I entered the second grade, I remember begging my favorite teacher of all time to let me read those cards - not realizing at the time that they weren't specifically geared for me. She finally gave in...but I had sort of moved on. I think this is around the time I was reading the Ramona books. I loved this year - this class. Coincidentally, it's also the year I remember feeling inferior at coloring and art. I envied the artistic abilities of some of my classmates. And being a little perfectionistic - I wrote myself off as ever being any kind of artist...a longer story for another day

In third grade, my class studied China and I loved everything about this year long project. We did tons of reading, researching, coloring, etc. My teacher made the whole subject come to life. I loved it. I remember the school library and loving the books there. And then there was the bookmobile. Over the summer, my sister, cousin and I would bike down to the local park and borrow books from the traveling library known as the bookmobile. That place was heaven...basically a food truck for bibliophiles. And I definitely was a bibliophile.  BTW: I've put a picture of a supercool bookmobile at the top of this post.  This was NOT my bookmobile.  I wish - it's quite cool. 

Twenty eight years later and I'm still in love with books. I could go into it more - but this post is already getting quite long and after three long paragraphs, it might just be time to get to the point. As time goes on, our passions and interests evolve. It's a natural progression of things. I find that my reading is often filled with what I'm loving in my real life - cupcakes, scrapbooking, books, art, etc. So it comes as no surprise that my newest love is foodie fiction.

I'm currently reading this...

I'm absolutely loving this book. Prior to this book, I read The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister. Loved it. Previous to that, I read From the Kitchen of Half Truth by Maria Goodin. Loved it too.  I can't wait to read The Lost Art of Mixing, Erica Bauermeister's follow-up to her previous novel (listed above). I've definitely fell down the rabbit hole and want to read and see more of this hybrid genre.  I've found a number of resources on Foodie Fiction and other possible reads. So excited.  I also have a lot of books on my Kindle and Nook apps ripe for the taking or reading as it may be.

It's a funny thing really. I wouldn't consider myself a foodie - although I do love food. I spend most of my money on books and craft supplies so there isn't much left over for extravagant meals. I call myself a cupcake connoisseur, but that will all be changing very soon. It has come as a little bit of a surprise that I love this sub-genre of fiction as much as I do. There's just something about these books that make me happy. Maybe because food is such a sensual experience? I just know that it's my new obsession. I plan on keeping everyone posted on my reading exploits in the fictional foodie world as time passes. Can't wait to read more.

Today I have plans to get a few errands done, eat at least two meals, drink lots of water, and stay dry.  We've got a path of strong storms traveling towards my area.  Praying that everyone stays safe.  Hopefully I'll get a chance to do some crafting and reading.  I have some cards to make for gifts to a very helpful friend.   I bought those stamps from Monday's post yesterday.   I'm a hot mess.  I have the impulse control of a gnat.  Anyhoo...I hope everyone is having a great day. Congrats on making it this far down - rather wordy I was today. :) Until then...

My First Love

I have no delusions of having a large audience on this little blog of mine...none. However, I know that many of you know that I'm an avid reader. Or that at least, I'd like to be. At the start of the year, I made a pledge to read 70 books which was a bit of a joke. I lowered the number to 50 within the first several weeks of the calendar year. And then, I pretty much gave up the ghost. At the end of May, I had read six books. Six. But something else amazing had happened...

My creative self had blossomed. I was making layouts again. I was being creative, playing with products in new ways, embracing my new role as auntie to Mr. Kai. I started to feel okay about the fact that I hadn't done a lot of reading. Still - reading is a part of who I am. I honestly can't remember a time I couldn't read - which should absolutely be chalked up to a bad memory not an early aptitude for word decoding.

Despite bloom being my word for the year, I yearned for balance. During the school year, it is very difficult to stay focused and self-care is a huge part of my profession - an area I'm working on. But no books get read at the end of the year...and very few layouts get made. The focus is on closing out the year and allowing my body enough rest and relaxation to get it done - period. It's the nature of the beast - at least for now.

So after the school year ended and I flew to visit my sister, I was confronted with a unique idea - a way of reframing this goal for my year. Reading is definitely part of my past - a huge part really. Scrapbooking and memory keeping is part of my present. They both are really. My life feels better when I'm in flow with these activities. It's utterly ridiculous to have these two really lovely parts of my life working as forces against one another. So a new pledge was born - the number is still 50. However, my plan is to add my crafty and reading accomplishments together and have them total the number 50 for the year.

I'm doing well from that point of view and am super excited to have this fresh outlook. Eventually I might want to add blog posts or journal entries to my number - but for now I'm keeping it super simple. I'm already close to the number 30 and am satisfied with this new, improved plan. Who said you can't have both. So that's it for now - just a few random musings on reading, crafting, and pledges. Hoping this day is finding you well. Until then...

BTW: For the source image, click the picture above or here.

Friday Fill-Ins

Here we go...

1. I remember holding my nephew for the first time and being filled with joy and love. I never could have imagined he would turn into this cool little thrill seeker - crawling, standing, and desperately trying to take his first steps.

2. Cold rain is showering down in New Jersey

3. Queensland is a place I most want to visit.

4. NCIS will mostly likely be on my television this week.

5. I was inspired by the beautiful decor and cupcakes at Molly's Cupcake's in the West Village. I loved the Kahlua, Cake Batter, and Cookie Monster cupcakes. This place has definitely went to the top of my favorite cupcake bakeries list!

6. My iPad, Fiona (yes I name them), is the perfect traveling companion!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with my sister, brother in-law, nephew, and parents; tomorrow my plans include spending time with my baby K's (Kayla, Kyle, and Kai); and Sunday, I want to enjoy the blessing of my sweet nephew, Kai.

P.S. I've been wanting to do this for a while. Unfortunately the Friday Fill-ins blog appears to have stopped. However, I did find a list on the wonderful Roben-Marie Smith's blog. I have decided to take her lead. I hope you are having a great day and staying dry, warm, and safe. Until then...

NSD '13: Scrapbooking Smaller Photos

Supplies: Patterned Paper: Studio Calico, Crate Paper; Stickers: American Crafts, Basic Grey; Punch: Martha Stewart Crafts; Ink; Studio Calico, October Afternoon, Heidi Swapp; Other: Buttons

Hi All!  I completed this page for Shimelle's challenge: Scrapbook Smaller Photos.  I really love the finished layout.  Not much to say here.  One more challenge down.

NSD '13: Give Mixed Media a Try

Supplies: Patterned Paper: American Crafts, Heidi Swapp, October Afternoon; Embellishments: My Mind's Eye, Ormolu; Stickers: American Crafts: Stencils: Crafter's Workshop; Ink: Ranger: Colored Pencil; Prisma; Pen: Pilot Precise; Washi Tape: Target

This layout belongs in my total friggin' nightmare file.  I cannot get the hang of those 6X6 stencils.  The mixed media part of this layout seems to be the pox on the entire thing.  However - life goes on.  It is okay.  Deep breaths.  One more layout down and isn't my baby so cute?  Life is good.

BTW: Completed this layout for the Studio Calico challenge, Give Mixed Media a Try!

NSD' 13: When Life Happens

I think we can all agree that I had some lofty plans for this last week.  Unfortunately life had different plans, as it often does.  I had neither the will or ability to take on any crafty projects at the end of my work days.  I actually spent one day at home trying to get ahead of the pain that comes along with my chronic condition.  I was disappointed with myself - until I spoke to my sister.  She told me it was okay - sound familiar?  She reminded me that seven layouts was MY goal and it was okay not to feel well.  It was okay to take care of myself in other ways.  And I accepted it and waited until I could rest up and tackle another story.  So without further ado...my third layout for NSD '13.

Supplies: Patterned Paper: Studio Calico, American Crafts; Stickers: Basic Grey, American Crafts; Stamps: Cocoa Daisy, Jillibean Soup; Embellishments: My Mind's Eye, Basic Grey, Studio Calico, SEI; Other: Buttons, Labels; Ink: Ranger, October Afternoon

I'm entering this into two challenges; Challenge #6: Scrap This List at Two Peas in a Bucket and Shimelle's: The Power of Three.  I had a near freak out about the journaling and I might have used too much patterned paper - if there is such a thing.  The balance feels off and I'm not sure why. But you know what....being 36 has put me a little off balance.  Makes complete sense, right?  So there you have it, my third layout.  I hope to do 1-2 more tomorrow.  Maybe seven was a little ambitious considering I scrapped NINE layouts total in 2012.  Man, I need to be more gentle with myself.  One more thing finally hitting home at the tender age of thirty-effing-six.  I digress.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday.  I hope you're taking the time to rest, heal, and take care of yourself in whatever way you need.  I hope you're putting that self-critical voice in your head in it's place.  I hope you're taking the time to be gentle with yourself and remember "it is okay."  I hope...  Until then...

Five for Friday: My "Materials"

Everyone has their little quirks and trust me I'm no different. Last month marked the eight year anniversary of my right foot surgery. It was an absolute nightmare but something really great came out of it. And when I say great I mean in the bizarre, zany way that only bat crap crazy people can appreciate. I was blessed enough to have my parents come for six weeks each to take care of me. Man alive did I drive them nuts. But I learned something important during this time.

First, one should only have foot surgery as a last resort because it blows....hard. Next, surgery should be scheduled when you're at a moderate weight not morbidly obese. Third, healing will NOT take four weeks if you're on immunosuppressants. It's not possible. Finally, it helps to know the essential things you will require which I decided to refer to as "my materials."

At the time of my recovery, my materials were an amalgamation of books, magazines, etc.. This practice has stayed with me and I now have a short list of absolute musts on my materials list.

1. Yellow Highlighter - I prefer the erasable kind. I have the set with all five colors but my preference is yellow. Always.

2. iPad - this handy gadget has cut down on my mega stack of books and magazines. For years I swore I would never get an ereader. I loved the feel of a book. Now I revel in the amount of space it saves and my reduced back pain.

3. One Real Book or Magazine - Because you never know when you're iPad will go dead or you'll throw it across the room because Christian Grey is disrobing once again.

4. Pilot Precise Pen Extra Fine in Black or Blue

5. Small notebook - for writing down project ideas, funny quotes, or to keep you from throat punching the person next to you.

It goes without saying that you must have a bag large enough to fit these items. Trust me, I always do. I feel somewhat naked without them. Unfortunately, I burned my parents out on the word materials when they were taking care of me so now I'm actually only allowed to say the word twice a day. Anyhoo...that's my list for this Friday. What's yours? Hope everyone's having a great day. Until then...

Fun Friday

Nine is the magic number.  Actually - I can't stand the number nine - but it's my number.  Or....maybe I should say it was my number.  I made nine layouts last year.  Nine.  When I did the math I almost lost the will to live...but here I sit...starting over.   I'm not looking at the number nine as a failure - but a sign of how mind-blowingly blocked I was last year.  I couldn't find my sweet spot.  I've come to terms with that now and there's only one reason...God.  

I don't talk much about my beliefs here - but it's absolutely worth mentioning.  I never do anything for Lent - but I thought I'd do something a little different this year.  Originally I thought about giving up cursing.  I then came to my senses and realized that there was no way in the world I could make it through a day without cursing.  I can't explain it...I just need it - like coffee and air.  So I decided to do one creative thing a day and everything changed.  

It's been almost three weeks and I've completed eight layouts.  Eight.  One less than the total number of layouts I completed in 2012.  And you want to know what - I love every effing one of them...warts and all.  It is a beautiful and BLESSED thing.  I believe wholeheartedly that God brought me back to my center - I don't feel that overwhelming need for perfection.  I don't feel the weight of disappointment when I make a mistake.  I move on - and trust me that's definitely God.  He is good in every way.   I originally planned on giving a list of things that have inspired me - that brought me back so to speak.  But in truth - I believe there is only one thing.

I'm going to take this opportunity to share my first two layouts of the year.  They're are some problems - but again, I love them so much.  So here goes nothing or maybe almost everything...

Patterned Paper: Echo Park; Stamps: Cocoa Daisy; Stickers: Echo Park, American Crafts; Template: American Crafts; Thread: American Crafts; Ink: Ranger Distress Ink

Patterned Paper: American Crafts: Stickers: Echo Park Paper, American Crafts, KI Memories, Diecuts: Studio Calico; Spray Ink: Ranger, Studio Calico; Template: American Crafts: Thread: American Crafts

I thank God for renewing my creative spirit - for making me less of a crazy, perfectionistic freak when it comes to scrapbooking.  I just am so very thankful.  I leave you with that this Friday.  Have a great day.  Until then...

P.S. I hope to give up cursing some day.  I just figure for now - who am I kidding?

May I Please Have a Do-Over?

Don't call it a comeback...

Just kidding!  I'm back...I guess.  Again, I've been missing this place - wondering what it should look like in the light of a four month absence.  Currently I sit at my little computer desk with the smell of coffee inhabiting my senses and the sounds of Joseph Gordon Levitt in the background.  Pretty flowery language...just to say I smell coffee and The Dark Knight Rises is playing on my television.  Still I prefer the first version just as I prefer my life with this blog in it.  I did my best to walk away.  I even tried to start anew...alas, it was not meant to be.  This is my place.  This is where I belong - so I move forward.  My hope is to post once or twice a week to start.  Eventually I'd like to get back in a rhythm with a regularly scheduled format - but for now it needs to be pretty much pressure free.  My plan is to focus on crafting, reading, and watching.  I'm going to do my best to make this a worry free space.  I'm not going to worry about how far behind I am or how I haven't started painting or art journaling yet.  I'm not going to think about how I've only read 5 out of 50 books this year.  I'm also not going to think about how my original goal was read 70 books - don't know what the eff I was thinking.  I'm just going to try and embrace what I have in front of me...what my life is now.  So... here's a quick list.

• I've read 5 books this year.  I read 45 last year and it was a true joy.  I've never felt so connected to my younger self.
• I made nine layouts last year.  I've made seven since the start of Lent.  I'm a happy girl.
• I've reacquainted myself with 6 X 6 paper pads.  I love, love, love them.
• I've started paying closer attention to my style and curating my Pinterest boards with a little more discerning eye.  I've deleted over 1,000 pins since Lent.  
• I'm closing in on my own version of artsy scrapbooking - taking the baby steps.
• I've met my nephew and he is beautiful.  I love his sweet face - the feel of him in my arms.  
• I'm finally starting to hit my stride creatively and I'm happier for it.

I will be sharing my layouts in upcoming posts.  I also plan on sharing inspirational links and pins.  Thanks so much for coming by or making your way back whichever it may be.  I hope this Sunday finds you well.  Until then...

Right Now: I'm going to turn off this movie because it's not really the kind of thing I want to scrap to...and get started on two layouts and a small photo book for a friend.  Wish me luck!

10 on the 10th - Most Used Crafting Supplies

I'm a little scared to utter the words out loud - but I think my mojo might be back!  I've scrapped four pages in the last week and am feeling really good about it.  I thought I'd take this opportunity to list the 10 products I've used most on the last four pages and really loved.  I also will give a little bit of information on how it's changed the way I'm doing things.  So drumroll please Ms. Tonks...

 1.  Dylusions Ink Spray by Ranger ~ I currently have the four color swatches below (colors from left to right: Vibrant Turquoise, London Blue, Lemon Zest, and Fresh Lime).

Original Source (image & swatches)

2.  Dylusions Stencils

Original Source

3.  Color Magic by Heidi Swapp

Original Source

4.  Distress Inks by Ranger - I'm really loving Perfect Peacock right now.

Original Source

5.  American Crafts Thickers - Heyday Mistable from Studio Calico

Original Source

6.  October Afternoon ~ Loving layering these with a brad.

Original Source

7. Decorative Brads ~ Pick your favorite company.  Right now I'm really loving My Mind's Eye.

Original Source

8. American Crafts Adhesive

Original Source

9. Distress Markers by Ranger

Original Source

10. Instagram Photos - printed at Persnickety Prints

Original Source

I should also add I've been using sketches, design principles, and patterned paper by the masses.  I'm on Pinterest constantly.  I've organized my boards to be more meaningful and inspiring for me.  These 10 products have opened the door to a subdued form of mixed media scrapbooking and I couldn't be happier.  I went for the 3X3 option for my photos so there's much more space to tell the story.  In addition, because I'm using wet media - I walk away from my layouts for drying time which has really given me permission to let a layout sit and percolate for a few hours or days depending on the situation.  I'm really loving this new approach (if you want to call it that).

Today: I'm getting out of the house, getting coffee, and reading up on play therapy.  Good times all around.  I don't have any immediate plans to craft but who knows.  I'm really trying to enjoy these last few days of summer.  I hope everyone has a great Friday.  Until then...

Do I have Enough Life?

I am completely enamored with Project Life. I want to do it desperately but the same question keeps on plaguing me.

Do I have enough life for Project Life?

Let's be honest...

• I don't take a lot of photos.


• I don't leave my house unless absolutely necessary which would mean a lot of pictures of bookstores, coffee shops, work, one beastly kitty and yours truly. Not so interesting.


• It's just me and the aforementioned beastly kitty. I feel like Project Life is for families and happening singletons like Kelly Purkey.


• I lead a small life, with some excitement sprinkled about, and that's okay for me. It's the way I prefer it. I just don't know if it's enough.

And then...

I started on my sister's baby shower album. At first I had visions of a cool mini book with mixed media techniques and altered greeting cards and then I got a grip. First of all, that's not my style at all. Second, I don't have an effing clue about how to make an altered greeting card album. Next, I wouldn't dare try anything new on a project for someone else.....

Or would I?

I decided after a little bit of soul searching that a mini album is not in the cards right now. My mojo isn't going that strong. Plus I want my sister to be able to tell her family's story without resorting to having me do all the crafting. No one can tell her story like she can. While I was able to convert her to the world of card making, I have my doubts about converting her to scrapbooking. Enter We R Memory Keepers. I bought two sets of page protectors and started creating a photo album scrapbook. I've really enjoyed myself so far and something has clicked in me. I hope the same will happen for her.

• I need to start taking more pictures.


• I need to start telling my story using any pieces of my life around.


• I need to let go of how things should be and start putting myself on the page - no matter the size or number of pockets.

So...I'm going to get my sis started on telling her story and then start carving out this new way of scrapbooking for myself. I feel the first twinges of excitement. It's nice to have that feeling again. I thought it was lost to me. So that's it for now. I'll try and keep you posted on my sister's album. Here's hoping everyone is having a lovely Tuesday. Until then....

BTW: For links to the original images pleas click on the photos.

Big, Big Plans

I'm getting out of the house.  I know it might not seem like a big deal - but really it's a huge thing for me.  I'm an introvert, a wallflower, an observer - I get most of my energy from being in 888 square feet most every day.  The summers are a real challenge since my natural inclination lures me to comfortable spaces, my house, the bookstore, the local coffee shop, etc.  The movie theater use to be on this list of comfy spaces that felt a little like home - but that hasn't been true for a long time.  So - it's a big deal, for me.

I'm going to see this movie today after three months.  I have no idea what I've been waiting for...

Source Image

...and after I'm done with all that alleged greatness (and hotness I might add) I'm off to get a Salvadoran classic for lunch and then join my many (fictional boyfriends) at the showing of this movie...

Source Image

Better get a move on...I have every intention of smuggling petit vanilla scones and breezing in with coffee.  We'll see.  I hope everyone has a lovely Monday.

My Life in Mail Order

If anyone has gotten whiplash from the sudden change in posting topics on my blog, please hang in there with me.  I'm trying a new attitude.  I want to continue to tell my stories however I can - and paper and glue just isn't working for me right now.  This little place is working at the moment so I'm giving it a try.  I'm hoping some of my story will be interesting (above all) to some readers and possibly even helpful.  So here it goes...

My Sunday "Bundle" of Meds

• I hate mail order pharmacies. 
• I hate being forced to change providers.  I don't care how many carefully worded, kind letters I receive in the mail.  If i wanted mail order I would have switched already.  So eff off.
• I hate how hard it is to get everything changed over to my particular mail order pharmacy.  
• If forced to change, I will start a protest which will really only hurt myself since I will be the one without medications.
• I want to be able to do what the hell I want to do when I want to do it.  I need my meds now and I want to be able to call my local pharmacy and pick them up.  I don't care how easy anyone says it is going to be - it's not that damn easy.
• Let's face it - if it's going to go wrong - it's most likely going to go wrong with yours truly so please let me keep on doing my thing and move the eff on.
• Living with a chronic illness is hard enough.  I'm on a lot of meds and I don't want to play phone tag with any company when there use to be an easier, faster way.  
• The only thing I want mail order is magazine subscriptions and books and even those are slowly going digital thanks to my friend Phoebe - my first generation iPad.  I'd rather try a mail order husband than pharmacy.  Yes, I said it.

And when none of that works and my friends, family, and doctors have heard my consistent bitching for almost a year and reminded me I've the one with higher blood pressure, pain, etc not the mail order pharmacy,  I'll get on it for about two days and hope for the best.  Don't be surprised if I'm pissed again in about 72 hours.  Mama needs her meds.  Hope everyone is having a happy Friday.  Until then...

There's a Hole in the Marketplace!

I was sitting in my room killing time before my dentist appointment this morning and started thinking about my lack of desire to cook for just one person and a very finicky cat who only approves of Iams Digestive Health cat food, french fries and petit vanilla bean scones from Starbucks. However, she does see fit to put her ASS in your food (including cupcakes) if it's in "her" way. Iams does all the cooking for her. They might be supplying a home for her if she puts her nether regions near one of my raspberry truffle cupcakes again. I digress. Anyway...I started looking for cookbooks and blogs and found a list of 30 blogs for cooking singletons but only a few cookbooks. I immediately thought there's a hole here.

What a delight to see a hole in the marketplace, right? An opportunity to be innovative with my ideas and "talents" and bring something new into the world. I mean there's gotta be plenty of people struggling with cooking for one and growing tired of eating like a college student in their thirties. Not to mention all of the people out there eating cereal for dinner. And then it dawned on me...I don't have ideas or talents in this area. I don't like to cook and would rather have dental work than eat a pan full of effing leftovers. So I wrote this post hoping someone with the skills, desire, and talent would stumble upon this post and say...damn, there is a hole in the marketplace and jump on it ASAP. Please someone out there take the leap...I can only eat Lucky Charms for dinner for so long.

While we're still on the subject of holes in the marketplace...I thought I might add the need for resources on mixed media card making. Someone needs to blow that topic wide open. I think it's definitely ripe for the taking. Again, will someone please get on that?

Clearly the novocaine has altered my brain chemistry temporarily because I'm all over the place here. Long story short...

• I want a book on cooking for one that's easy, affordable, and flavorful. Hold the unlimited heaps of leftovers. There's no space for that in these parts.


• I want more books on mixed media card making, scrapbooking, and paper crafting in general. It would also be helpful if this resource offered a never ending supply of confidence and innovative ideas. I would also like it to give me the power to love everything I create.


• Better yet, I want food to materialize in my home along with perfect mixed media projects and the will to live at my every effing whim.

Basically I want the effing holy grail. But for those of you that were wondering...there are some serious holes in the marketplace. So that's it for this girl on Wednesday. Just a lot of words and no crafty news or products to report. For those of you in the same situation, keep your head up. I hope everyone is having a lovely day. I'm off to the market for some more Lucky Charms. Until then....

P.S. Double arm pump for my most random post ever.

I Feel A Breakthrough Coming....

Updated on August 6, 2012: I removed this post for a few days after reading this article.  I was quite disappointed by the news - and removed the post immediately.  However, after taking a few days to think about it - I think it needs to stay.  It meant something to me at the time and it still does despite the controversy surrounding it's publishing.  The book is no longer available - but this is still part of my story.  So...I've returned it to the blog with the complete understanding of the questions surrounding the book's accuracy.  I say all this just to say it's a part of my story and it's the story that matters.

I'm sitting in my local Starbucks looking over my highlights and notes from the book Imagine by Jonah Lehrer. I feel so literary and productive sitting on my iPad writing this post. Frankly its a good thing I'm feeling slightly up because I can't decide if I've been temporarily paralyzed or am in the process of one of the greatest personal creative breakthroughs yet.

As you might remember, I read the above book for a podcast and loved it. With my dwindling creative energy, I decided to take a second look at this book before beating my head against the wall hoping for some creative insight. I found this quote.

"Before we can find the answer - before we probably even know the question - we must be immersed in disappointment, convinced that a solution is beyond our reach. We need to have wrestled with the problem and lost (Lehrer, page 6 - Kindle)."

Holy cow was this an eye opener. I am in this stage right now in so many areas of my life. This has been the point where I've always given up in the past. It's the point where I've let in the "nots" and called it quits. No one talks about this part of the process! No one says you feel like you're at the gates of hell before the light appears. No one talks about the suck fest that is the down cycle of creativity - life in general. It reminds me of that moment on "Friends" when Monica and Chandler realize relationships don't last if you give up after every fight.

These thirty seven words gave me hope. So a big thank you to Mr. Jonah Lehrer and the overwhelming disappointment and gloom that's getting me to the next level creatively. Let's hope it's real for me and you (as it may be). So here's to a little creative suckage on a melting Monday (it was 94 degrees at 10:00). I hope u have a wonderful, cool day in your little space of the world. Until then... (originally posted on 7/23/2012).

"The Nots" (A Very Long Post)

I've been really floored by how wonderful my reading challenge has been going over the last almost seven months.  The quality of the reading has been at times divine and surprisingly pleasing.  I've spent a good deal of time in both fiction and non-fiction with crafty pieces sprinkled through out.  I just finished this book by the wonderful Susannah Conway and started this ditty by Kristin Neff.  I got the second book "recommendation" from Brene' Brown's website.  I noticed it was on her nightstand and wanted to learn a little more about self compassion after reading her fantastic books.  Susannah and Kristin have helped me become familiar with something called "the nots."  "The nots" are those things we repeat to ourselves so much that we give them a corporal shape and form.  They are spoken into existence.  I started thinking about all my "nots" and why I'm having such an effing hard time with being creative right now.  And guess what - there's that eight year old girl staring me in the face.

In second grade, I had the most fantastic teacher.  I loved being in her classroom and she fueled my love for words and books.  Unfortunately - this is also the year I began to tell myself that I didn't have the "art" gene.  I started to notice how other kids were able to draw, color, and create things in a way I believed I never would have imagined.  This is the year "the nots" took over when it came to drawing, painting, cutting, gluing, you name it.   I became the non-artist.

If there is one thing I've learned about creativity - it is the necessity to move forward and learn new things.  Without the challenge, we become stagnant - burnt out.  "The nots" have been keeping me from moving forward and I am afraid they will take everything creative I've cultivated in myself since 2007 and make it disappear.  I can't have that - not now, not ever.  I thought it was time to put those "nots" out in the open and start tackling them one by one.  So here's the short list of my "nots".

• I am NOT an artist.
• I am NOT a painter.
• I am NOT creative.
• I am NOT a writer.
• I am NOT as good/smart/pretty/talented/(put any adjective here) as _____________________.

The last "not" is a big one because if I'm not as good as that person - why in the world am I doing this thing?  This is the thought that brings me to my knees.  I wonder how often "the nots" keep me from moving forward - from my doing my very best.  Who would I be without them?

Patterned Paper: Heidi Swapp, Cosmo Cricket, Studio Calico, Crate Paper: Stamp: Stamping Bella (image), Hero Arts (sentiment); Ink: Ranger Archival Ink, Distress Ink (Spun Sugar); Markers; Ranger Distress Markers; Embossing Powder: Unknown; Vintage Paper: Red Lead Paperworks.

I thought I'd give a quick example.  I know the first picture isn't great but it gives you the overall look.  I made this card for a friend's birthday last week.  I waited until the last minute to do the card due to my massive amounts of panic when it comes to crafting lately.  I used my distress markers in the exact way I had seen on several tutorials.  I chose one of my favorite images.  I stamped it on vintage paper from my LSS.  I took one hour to color this girl and I ended up hating it.   It's growing on me now - but still all I see are the flaws - the "nots."  

• The colors are NOT blended well.
• The papers are NOT matched well.
• Text was NOT a good choice for the stamped image.
• I can NOT make perfect cards.

If you didn't realize it by now - I hate the "nots."  I'm giving the "nots" the finger and trying to remember there is more to this creativity thing.  Why?  I know there is a sweet spot.  I've been there before.  I know because of this...

Patterned Paper: American Crafts, Echo Park; Stamps: Unity Stamps (She Art Girl by Christy Tomlinson); Hero Arts; Markers: Spectrum Noir; Ink: Studio Calico, Ranger Archival; Button: Bella Blvd; Cardstock: Archivers

I made this card five days before the one above.  I made mistakes - which I fixed to the best of my ability.  I played around with color and even sprayed the background when I realized the white was just too bright.  Eight days later...I love it.  I don't feel the "nots," not to say I didn't feel them then.  


There have been plenty of times when things have worked - when I've pushed the limits and come out the other side.  It's scary and hard but it's doable.  I can do this.  I need to start repeating that to myself.  I need to go to the mattresses with these "nots" and kick them in the ass.  I have to fight for my creativity (dramatic, I know)....


So anyhoo - it's a long post.  It's definitely one I needed after reading so much about unraveling and self compassion.  I'm still having a hard time in that chair - but I'll get through it.  I have to.  I hope everyone has a lovely Sunday where the "nots" are few and far between (non-existent even).  Until then...

Reading Pledge 2012 Update

I know it must seem like the bulk of the time I spend on this blog is book related - at least recently.  I would give excuses but it's part of my personal project to get back to the things I love most.  I'm right on time with my pledge at this point and am in the process of reading two books.  I've made it a habit this year to have at least one fiction book and one non-fiction and/or creative book in progress at any given time.  It's been working out pretty well and I'm loving it. It's nice to be reading more again.  So what's going on now...

Like many avid readers, I have jumped on the Fifty Shades trilogy band wagon.  I'm about two-thirds of the way through the final book and I'm really feeling the need to disembark or throw up in my mouth a little bit.  Really, I'm pretty fed up with the mind-blowing sex with the tragically naive, beautiful (and she doesn't even know it) girl.  I'll finish the trilogy.  I've put in the time but it's really pissing me off right now.  I think I'm going on my third week of not reading this book - wasted time indeed. If I had the physical book I would have tossed it across the room on several occasions.  Unfortunately this is not possible with the ereader.  One strike in its favor I tell you.  Who knew almost 1000 pages of reading about the hot, damaged guy in love with the innocent, vulnerable girl could make me start looking for sharp objects?

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Moving on...I started reading Imagine by Jonah Lehrer in preparation for the upcoming podcast on Paperclipping Roundtable.  I've had the book for a while and am LOVING it.  It has a similar tone to the lovely works of Mr. Malcolm Gladwell.  His books are little bursts of knowledge and I just soak it up like a sponge.  Loving the opportunity to read about creativity and imagination.  Loving the opportunity to become acquainted with another amazing non-fiction writer.  I also am enjoying my time away from the red room of pain.  Reading Fifty Shades is turning into my red room of pain.  I exaggerate...slightly.

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So that's it for today.  If you're interested in joining in on the book club read for the podcast, hop on over to the Paperclipping blog.  The podcast panelists are all reading the book and will include the regulars (Noell, Nancy, and Izzy), Ali Edwards and Stacy Julian.  I cannot wait.  They will be taping the episode next week.  Yay!  


Today: I plan on writing my summer manifesto inspired by Ms. Ali Edwards.  I'm only running a few weeks late.  I also plan on coloring more than ONE image today.  I have exactly 16 days to finish 55 cards - which roughly evens out to three to four cards per day.  I also plan on treating myself to a big cup of coffee, blueberry muffin, and possibly finishing at least one book.  Hope everyone's having a lovely Tuesday.  Until then...


P.S. For those of you that LOVE the trilogy - you know who you are - I'd like to apologize for my remarks.  I hope this doesn't take away from your own reading experience.  Please don't let my views deter you from reading the books either,  remember you're dealing with a girl who pinned this and is wondering if she can make a sign for when she leaves the house.  Nutcake, indeed. 

Reigniting My Creative Flow

Source Image: Morgue File (earl53)

Here I am - 12 days after my last post thinking about the total frustration of creative slumps.  My work definitely ebbs and flows based on a variety of different variables.  As I get further along in my crafting journey - I've started to recognize signs of the time...

• Spring ~ This is the time of year when my creativity takes a huge dive.  I'm really busy at work and most of my energy goes into making that final push.  No matter how much I love my job - spring is always the hardest part of the year for me.  I get very little done in terms of crafting and reading.  This is usually the time I think of giving away all of my supplies and packing it in.
• Holidays & Events ~ I'm an everyday storyteller.  I think of my craft as scrapbook journaling more than anything else.  As a single scrapper without children, there isn't always a lot of stories to tell and I'm just not interested in scrapping the holidays or big events.
• Geography ~ Don't worry - this isn't going to be a geography lesson.  I take tons of pictures when I'm with my family.  However, due to geographical complications - we aren't all that close.  So if I don't see them for a while - it usually means I have no pictures and  it somehow relates to my scrapbooking lull.
• Photos ~ This one's pretty simple.  I need to take more photos - not just Instagram photos.  I need to carry my camera and start documenting my everyday life.  I also need to remember it's okay to tell the story without the photo.  Life is beautifully imperfect - it's okay if my scrapbooks are too.
• Moods & Physical Health ~ When I'm not in good shape or a lot of pain - creativity naturally takes a holiday.  It's my body's way of taking care of me.  However, these are precisely the times I need my crafts and books so much.  It's definitely a double-edged sword.

Over the next few weeks - I'm going to focus on creative flow and it's ever changing force in my life.   I consider reading a huge part of my creative life.  It taps into my imagination and ability to tell stories in a meaningful way.  It's a huge part of my life - except in April and May.  

So here's to telling my story in a new way.  I'm going to find resources, try new products, go on dates with my old products and make them new again, and soak up all the inspirational goodness I can find.  I'm going to share those resources here as often as my slumping self allows.  I'm going to continue to write in my 5-year journal.  I'm going to find small ways to ignite my creativity.  I'm also going to do my best to respect this time and allow the batteries to recharge.  This is part of the process and I'm going to embrace it the best I can.  I'm going to try to enjoy being in the caterpillar stage.  I would love to hear the ways you deal with burn-out/slumps.  Here's hoping you have a wonderful week.  Until then...